hate.this.sick.of.it.

ever felt so alone?..powtek..i F**KING hate that feeling, well im not actually alone, i have friends..and a lot of them, but there are just those times that you feel sad..once a friend told me, its part of maturity..shet ang maturity na yan..anu super mature nako??!

anyhow..maybe im just not that contented with where i am, yes im happy, a bit fulfilled with a career im planning to feed to grow..pero iba talaga ang pakiramdam ko..para kong naluge..hindi hindi naluge ang tamang term, parang nabuhusan ng kape tong laptop ko..oo ganun, since ito ang pinaka priced possesion ko ngayon..oo parang natapunan ng kape ang laptop ko at hindi ko alam ang gagawin..parang walang bagay na makakapagsabi sakin na ok lang yan kasi hindi ok..

ang kulet pa naman ng kokote ko as many of my close friends know..grabe imagination ko..a simple old music from the 80's can convert the looks around me into the 80's and just thinking of a ghost a couple of times scares the hell out of me..kaya ayoko ng nababakante ko..

i want to be occupied all the time, kasi kung hindi hala takbo-takbo-takbo..dont get me wrong im not a schezo ok, its just that i think the "mind over matter" has a lot to do with it, ang lakas ng ganyang powers ko..which sucks at times...like right now..

gusto ko na umuwi ng pilipinas..anung gagawin ko dun..gusto ko dito kasi may trabaho..aba puro trabaho na lang ba..shet i suck at this...

before graduation i have the list.."to do" list..all may goals..and here i am with that checklist again..last on that list is having this job..then i plan to make another again..now i cant think of any plans..what is this..im blank??!hell that cant be..

im an independent person.,independent na nagiisa..hindi naman loner pero ok lang sakin magisa..kasi i grew up that way, i can survive alone..dont get me wrong, no man is an island..pero i can live with that kaya siguro when i have my friends i really treasure them..the worst part i somehow get attached..one reason that when it ends..the friendship ends.. i get so low...

even with the simple reason of losing the conversation and contact..


powtek..